BMG

I wrote this post earlier today, and nothing went right. The words kept bleeding into one another, the paragraphs wouldn’t stay where I put them and I made one mistake after another.

Misspellings.

Misspoken statements.

I gave up and deleted the post.

And I’m glad I did. In the space of a few hours, I changed my mind. I don’t want to talk about authors behaving badly.  That’s their problem.  Plus heaven forbid if I say something that’s misconscrewed…misconstrued.

Instead, I’m going to tell you about my invention. I was reminded of it from a comment left on my Myspace blog.  A comment about attitudes toward sex and sex toys sent me to ask my husband, “What is the first thing that comes to your mind when I say sex toys.”

Since he was clear at the other end of the house watching a game, at first he looked confused.  Then he burst out laughing.  A full, rich, resounding belly laugh.  

“Your invention,” he says between guffaws.

I start laughing so hard I make a rude noise.

We laughed long and loud before we could talk.  I asked him if he could remember what it looked like.  And we came to the consensus I’d made it from a rubber hot-water bottle.  I bemoaned the fact we hadn’t taken pictures.  This was about twenty-five years ago, but there was one thing we both remembered.

Mike mimicked the sound I made as we gave it a test run.  I swear…the exact sound.  There are some things you never forget. 

Am I behaving badly sharing my ornery story?   Color me an author behaving badly so my title fits…

Brit

www.britblaise.com

www.cavecreekcowboys.com

www.myspace.com/britblaise

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I love RT and would never miss it.  Cassie and I joke about stocking the models with our walkers when we’re 80 and Kayce had to add that she’s running everyone down with her electric wheelchair.   I think Kayla is going to have a four wheeler, lol.  As everyone has said we enjoyed meeting up with old friends and meeting new ones. 

 JC Wilder’s blog gives you her point of view about the conference and it’s a good one.  I think what I enjoy about this conference the most, is everyone is relaxed.  No one is trying to act like it’s the 1950’s Corporate America, like some conferences do. 

Don’t get me wrong, it’s still about business, but with a fun flare.  I think everyone networks more this way.  To me it’s RT’s way of changing business functions, like Google is changing Corporate America.

Cassie Ryan and I stayed on Sunday, for the psychic fun and it was so worth it.  We didn’t have to hurry up, eat, pack and get to the airport after drinking the night before.  We got up on Sunday, walked to Starbucks (Chai…yummy), had a psychic reading, looked at the new vendor stuff, had lunch in the bar, I took a nap, and then watched movies.  Amanda McIntyre hosted a movie night, with popcorn, chocolate, root beer and prizes.  It was relaxing and fun. 

The flight home was long and uneventful.  When I got home at 1 in the morning on Monday night I gasped at what awaited me.  My babysitter for the cats didn’t clean out the boxes like I asked her to.  So of course I had a mess and a half on my hands.  I have one cat who doesn’t like messy boxes. 

Then I opened the fridge and forgot to clean out some leftovers before I left.  I found a new sentient race with green hair and their bodies resembled enchiladas.  They weren’t too friendly and didn’t like to be relocated to the garbage world.  They also stunk, bad race to have in your fridge.

Then I went out back and found my pool decided to mutate and I had algae starting to grow everywhere.  Hmmm…must have forgotten to check the chlorine levels when I left.  So I had to spend time making it sparkle again.

 This morning, when I was getting ready for work, I couldn’t find my brushes and makeup.  I, of course, am refusing to unpack.  I’ll be struck down by lightening if I look at those bags again.  Unfortunately, that meant livingd out of them this morning.   I would love to pay for a service to pack and unpack me.  I hate unpacking most of all.  So I’m waiting till this weekend to unpack.

I’m almost back to normal and am grateful for the wonderful time I had with all my peeps at RT.  Love you all.  Isabella  

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   What does it mean when you have gained 5 pounds, are so body sore you can barely move, have a suitcase bulging with books and every sort of author promo item you can think of?  You’re a 2008 RT survivor! 

I had the best time. I enjoyed RT even more than last year.  Pittsburgh is beautiful, what I saw of it anyway. The hillsides were green and the tulips were blooming. And from our window on the 20th floor, Kayce and I had a nice view of the river. 

However if I had it all to do over, I’d change one thing.  I’d have gone to the dinner that Fabio was at and had my picture taken with him. I mean really, what was I thinking? It was Fabio for goodness sakes!  It is so me, to not get involved and then later, after a couple of butterscotch martini’s, decide that I want to be in the middle of all the hoopla. Only this time it was too late to go to the dinner by the time I decided I wanted to meet him. So like Kayce told you earlier I had to become a Fabio stalker.  And my quest was very unsuccessful.  I kept missing him by only minutes!  Darn it. 

And yes, there was a moment in time when I thought about thumping Kayce when I heard that she rode the elevator with him.  Geesh, you’d think a real friend would have thought to use her cell phone and have me there when they got off the elevator. But no…I get told about it all later.  Ah well, I’ll forgive her, after all when you’re standing next to the King of Romance, I’d expect you’d  have your mind on something other than calling your girl friends. 

Later that night, Isabella saw him headed toward the restroom and ran to get me, but by the time we got back, he was gone.  Missed him again!  Still all was not lost, we found our friend C J Hollenbach and I had a picture taken with him. I think it’s on Isabella’s camera and will eventually turn up.  Just as good as one taken with Fabio and maybe even better.  

Speaking of picture taking. We should have some more great pictures to post when Carol takes them off her camera.  No pressure, take your time, I’m not dying to see them or anything. I’m just glad Carol brought her camera. I went off and forgot mine. So I’m greatful for any taken. Thanks again, Carol. I know I drove you crazy with, “Take a picture, take a picture!”  Isabella has some good ones too, so there should be no shortage of fun pictures.  Oh, and I did manage to have my picture taken with the band guy from the Impalers.  Sonny, or was it Ren D’Antoni??

When I got home and told my hubby about our trip and my search for Fabio, he reminded me that I had my very own cover model right here at home. Him!  Yes, it’s true, he was on the cover of a magazine once. The Arizona Thoroughbred Breeders magazine.  Of course he was fully dressed and the distribution of the magazine wasn’t much to brag about since it only goes out to local members, but he was still on the cover. Works for me!  I think I’ll dig that issue out and frame it. Maybe hang it on my office wall.

Oh well, back to RT.

Overall I met and made so many new friends, it was fantastic. Especially all The Wild Rose Press authors and Rhonda and RJ. What fun to now have faces to go with the names.  And, I was thrilled to meet Amanda, my editor. She is so pretty and what a character.  We really hit it off.  Amanda and I danced till we dropped at the Dorchester party.  Probably one reason I’m so body sore.  It’s been a long time since I danced that much. Good thing I’ll  have a year to rest up. I bet I’ll need it. 

More good news. Our Butterscotch Martini Girls Critique workshop was a big success. We had a better turnout than we even hoped for and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.  We focused on answers to all the critiquing challenges.  Especially for the new writers who are somewhat overwhelmed and not sure how or what is expected from them when giving a critique.   We had quite a good question and answer session too.  And, afterward we received some good feedback. All in all I think it went really well and it was a unanimous BMG decision to give another workshop next year.  Still it was a big relief when it was all over and we could relax.  So much so that it called for a celebration, more butterscotch martini’s.  And I need to add a big thank you, Vijaya Schartz!  She gave us a wonderful impromptu introduction.

 Before I forget. Mega congratulations 2008 Mr. Romance winner Chris Winters!

When my email arrives to ask if I plan on attending again in 2009, you bet I’ll respond with count me in!  RT Orlando ‘09!  See you there!!!!

                                        Quote de jour 

“If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it!  If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.  If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.”

                              - Nora Roberts -

Well, I’m off to get some edits done today.  It’s time to get back to work.

Happy writing everyone,

Dani/Tia Dani

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“Are you here for Chef Mike’s class?” asked an older lady standing to Cara’s left.

Cara nodded. The taste of lip gloss reminded her to quit chewing her lip. Someone might guess the idea of cooking had her rattled. And, she told herself, allowing her mother to talk her into cooking lessons didn’t make her a pushover. After all, none of these anemic women could know she’d nearly burned her parents’ house to the ground while attempting to make French fries. None of these women looked like she’d even eat a French fry, let alone cook one.

“Michael is a wonderful teacher,” the woman gushed. “This is the third time I’ve taken his class.”

“That’s nice,” Cara said, visions of well-built firemen popping into her head. Ordinarily it would be a good thing, but cooking with a mob of too-skinny blondes redefined her perception of being out of her element.

“Don’t worry. You’ll do just fine,” the woman assured.

“Why bother to worry when you can just as easily obsess?” Cara quipped. She followed behind while the statuesque leader showed the group into the kitchen.

“Welcome, everyone, to Chef Mike Nichols’ kitchen!” The woman gave an exuberant Vanna White sweep of her skinny arms.

Cara had only a moment to be captivated by the sparkling white walls and gleaming metallic surfaces before she spied the cameras. Why were there TV cameras in the kitchen? Riva might want her face in front of a camera. Cara definitely did not.

“That’s not good,” she said under her breath, her feet glued to the floor while everyone else continued to file into the room. “I can’t do this. I don’t like to have my picture taken, let alone this,” she said to anyone who cared to listen.

Cara’s mouth started to dry. She managed multi-million-dollar portfolios and yet the thought of cooking in front of cameras reduced her to a mass of quivering green Jell-O-the only thing she could cook, once she’d coerced someone else into boiling the water.

The sound of a dull thud penetrated her fear. Cara turned her head to see a metal tray careen toward her out of the corner of her eye and then heard the tray’s contents hit the floor with a crash.
“Shi-shoot! Please move the camera cord before someone gets killed.” The big man who had just dropped the tray stood defiantly, fists on his hips, glaring at the cameraman. Just as quickly, the frown left his face when he glanced over at Cara.

She felt like a deer caught in the headlights surrounded by a herd of blonde heads as she looked back at the man who had to be Chef Mike. The sure thing? Her sure thing? No way!

Cara had to remind herself to breathe as she looked at him-inch by incredible inch. There were so many hunky inches she couldn’t take them in fast enough. Perhaps seventy-five of them in all, and each begged for her complete attention. Hunk with a capital “H.” She was getting hot just looking at him. Chef Mike? Could she get that lucky?

This was her sure thing?…

More?

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I’m posting late tonight because I spent most of the day traveling and just arrived home an hour ago.

I read Kayce’s post and am disappointed I missed her water bottle demonstration. Pictures would have been great. But have I got a story for you!

Rewind back to Thursday night to the Faery Ball. Isabella, Kayce and myself all ended up in line together on one side of the stage. Iz in front of me and Kayce in line behind. Well, like I said, “Faery Ball” which means wings are involved.

Apparently my wings were brushing against Kayce’s chest, I say chest, to keep this PG. As she tells me this I burst into a fit of laughter which causes my wings to move and well, brush certain chest parts again. So, since my wings got to second base with Kayce she now expects an engagement ring or at least a long term commitment. I’ll have to break it to her gently.

Speaking of wings, Isabella and I grew bored waiting in line and started a wing war. This is where you attack each other only using your wings. Quite fun when you’re standing in one spot for half an hour in high heels and your feet are killing you. The cover models who were to escort us across the stage looked at us like we were little kids or something. If they only knew how childish we can be! We decided they were waaaaaay too young to understand and we would break them. Teehehehehe. (Cassie & Iz can explain that one if they wish)

So RT 2008 is over and plans for the 2009 bash in Orlando, Fl are already underway. I am exhausted and would do it over again in a heartbeat if I had the chance. What am I saying? I will do it again!

Off and running ~

Ciao,

Kayla Janz

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